Trox and Jessica introduced me to a “game” once. They told me to talk about one thing I learned, one good thing I did, and one bad thing I did for the day.
Tonight, I want to talk about one thing I did that was bad.
Walking back from the gym, I was singing and just in my own head. A guy comes from the side, walking towards me with a huge unfolded cardboard box on his shoulders. I saw him at the corner of my eye at the last second and dodged it. It grazed my hair.
He walked a few more steps, saw that I had turned towards him, and he turned towards me.
I want to describe my sudden anger. My eyes flared, and I stared at him with unprecedented rage. My heart began palpitating, and my right hand went numb. This familiar feeling was adrenaline.
This guy said, “對不起啦，我沒看到你。下次不要那麼兇。” Which means, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. Please don’t be so fierce next time.”
This guy, probably 50 years old, 5’2″ tall, 125 pounds, nice looking guy, apologized to me. I waved him off intending to be a sign of acknowledgement, but it probably came off as blowing him off. And I walked away.
And I felt immediate remorse. The guy looked really nice. He genuinely didn’t see me. And I reacted with so much anger. I couldn’t even control that impulse, the emotions just ignited on its own.
There’s a good quote somewhere out there that says, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their [actions].” I did just that tonight. I think this is a big weakness of mine, which I need to work on.
I suppose there’s a good I did today.
Now, before I wrote this blog, a colleague sent me a private message thanking me for all the work I did today. Today was a 12 hour work day, 5 of which was spent on quality assurance (QA) for my team members’ work. They let me know that they appreciated my time and thorough testing, and it really made my day. What a wonderful life I lead – the highlight of a weekday is work! Hah.
But really, I love this job. I’m glad I did something good today, as I couldn’t think of anything until I read that message.
And there’s one thing I learned today.
I learned of a couple of great places to explore in Taiwan. My colleague emailed me a great place to go biking along the river/ocean. It’s just off 淡水張站.