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Spoiled goods: after a bad relationship (Letter #1)

New series, in which I address an anonymous person in my life with a letter. #letter

Dear Jane Doe,

You taught me a lot and I look up to you. But I think of you now, more as an equal peer, than “the hottest Asian woman I’ve ever met and befriended.” So alas, from one peer to another, I’m worried for you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said during our lunch at the Thai restaurant. I believe I I truly understand what you mean by baggage; that you and I are spoiled goods. We’re tainted by past relationships that have hurt us, heightened our security, and have transformed us to become inherently distrustful of certain actions or people.

You’ve become jaded about what marriage constitutes. You’ve become uncertain of your own resolve. The idealist in me fought against your beliefs, but after your justifications, I too cannot help but think the same way. I met your fiance, and I liked him. You would have married him yesterday.

But the circumstances of you two re-meeting worries me. His past worries me. Had you told me about his past from the getgo, I would have clearly stated my objection to your relationship. Having been cheated on, you and I both know how it feels to be on the receiving end of such hurtful antics. Yet you’re to be married soon. And you’re scared about your future; as a reactionary force, I’m afraid of your hesitancy.

Scum is a strong word, but I think it’s hard to defend oneself against that label when it involves cheating on another person. I find myself in avoidance of such people when I discover such a past. And for what it’s worth, I don’t see myself ever forgiving my former significant other.

Jane, you’re an awesome gal with the spiffiest and sexiest confidence, demeanor, and looks. You talk the talk, and you walk the walk. You carry on as if the future doesn’t work against you, and it shows. But I understand your situation. I fully support you, albeit in less-than-ideal circumstances. I just hope that your worries (and mine) are extinguished and never set aflame again.

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