I used to believe that it was possible to maintain all my friendships, even with time restrictions and differing geographical locations. As I grew older, I realized just how impossible it was to achieve that. Tonight’s post centers around two quotes.
Let’s talk about the first quote, “Surround yourself with people that will only lift you higher.” Simple enough to understand. When I used to play World of Warcraft (WoW), a friend of mine had a survival of the fittest mentality when it came to the team-based game. His views on maintaining a guild (a group of players) was to keep those who can hold their own around until someone better comes along. Therefore, one must strive to improve his/her gameplay or risk being replaced.
Now, let’s discuss the second quote, “Never peak.” The peak symbolizes the top of a mountain; climbing it is the challenge, whereas reaching the top equates to victory. However, there’s nowhere left to go but downward. Keeping that in mind, the plan is always strive for something more. As a friend remarked, part of my personality is always being in a “constant quest for self-improvement.” The friend is correct; I’m always either trying to learn new things or become better at what I’m already doing.
The WoW example best describes my mentality with the people in my life. In a perfect world, I could see and talk to every person I’ve formed a relationship with. In real life… not so much. There’s only so much time and energy I have in associating with the acquaintances, relatives, and friends. Therefore, certain decisions must be made when there are certain conflicts. Decisions, decisions…
For the past school year, I’ve become very selective of when I go out and who I go out with. The quotes explain my actions this year. I openly iterate my beliefs of the two quotes, and I abide by them quite strongly. For that reason, I particularly enjoy being around interesting, motivated, and ambitious people. Those who have stories to tell; those who have accumulated a number of experiences; those who are constantly progressing towards a goal; those who are learning new things and delivering it. It is my wish for those around me to be constantly improving themselves.
On the contrary, I’ve been gradually distancing myself from those who I have extracted all that I want and/or need from them. It’s already happened to many, many people. With some people, I’ve simply limited the number of times spent with them and/or kept the level of conversation on the surface level. On the other hand, I’ve chosen to completely diss-tance myself from others. I’m not very smooth in how I conduct this social transaction. I make repeated excuses not to see them; I stop initiating conversations; I disappear from their lives rather abruptly. I’ll be the first to admit, this diss-tancing with contempt is a cold method to exit some peoples’ lives (hence the spelling of ‘diss-tance’).
The methodology behind my actions are simple. I find no reason to be around those who yield absolutely zero benefits to myself. Those who remain static in their every day routines; who feel content with everything in their lives; who feel they have uncovered all of life’s aspirations. Those are the first people to go.
Am I selfish for having this kind of mentality? I truly believe so, but I also believe that it is what’s best for me. Quoting one of my favorite hip-hop artists AM Kidd, “Smile it’s okay, it’s time for me to fade away.”