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Missed opportunity, damnit…

I came out of the gym today, and a familiar face stood adjacent outside the gym entrance. He looked at me with [what I now presume to be] fake, heartwarming eyes and smile.

“Excuse me, but do you have 50 cents?”

He then encountered a small man vs. self conflict. He became flustered and stuttered.

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me to ask. Do you happen to have 50 cents that I could have? I’m really hungry.”

For those of you who don’t know, I always give some change to homeless people. Tonight, I made an exception; this is now my third encounter with this gentleman. The first time must have been half a year ago in the same exact location outside the gym. I had given him a dollar. I then saw him a week later doing the same thing. I got mildly upset for two reasons: the clean shave, friendly eyes and smile, and clean-looking attire (grey sweater and pants) was a front to disguise his true identity and motive. The second reason was, he didn’t even recognize me. At least I hope not. He has some major cojones to pretend like he didn’t know me and still ask for money.

I looked at him with a fake smile and shook my head. I was more than mildly upset as I drove off.

Imaginatively ask me why I was “more than mildly upset.” Have you asked yet? Now answer your imaginary, rhetorical question. Have you answered yourself yet? You have. Your answer is incorrect.

I was “more than mildly upset” because my parents had already cooked me dinner. How does that possibly make sense Andy? Could you be feeling guilty that you have warm food waiting for you at home? Does that mean that you didn’t have any dinner money on you that you wanted to give to him? Incorrect and incorrect. I was more than mildly upset because I could not have dinner with him.

I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time. I also plan on doing this on an occasional basis in the future. I want to buy homeless people food in return for a conversation. Tonight, I had wanted to buy that man some Subway or something, eat dinner with him, and have him tell me all about himself.

Are you crazy, Andy? Are you moved onto Xanax and shrooms? Do you want to get mugged? No, no, and no.

I want to have the homeless person tell me how they got themselves into that situation. By doing so, it would allow them to reflect on why they live the way they currently do. I’m putting them out of their comfort zone so they look at themselves and rethink their lives.

What got you into this situation?
Do you like living the routine of asking people for change?
What was life for you 5 years ago? 10, 15, 20?
Are you happy?

Questions like these would make them uncomfortable. But, they’d better feel obligated to answer them because they’re eating a free meal. And, it’s not like they have anything more productive to do since I saved them some time and effort in accumulating some capitol to spend on food, cigarettes, alcohol, and whatnot.

I cannot judge them for why they live the way they do. I am only there to bring out their subconscious. I do not have an answer for them. I merely have them reflect upon themselves.

I will do this when the time’s right. And I will do this several times throughout my lifetime. What do you think?

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